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You come over looking for my roommate, but she’s gone - And she’s moved on to someone else. I feel really bad breaking the news to you, but she told me you were too small to satisfy her. I always had a thing for you, so I get you to show me if it’s true. Maybe she was lying just to stop me from liking you? Turns out, you really are super small. I give you a pity jerk while trying to cheer you up, but sorry, I don’t think it’s going to work out between us in the long run...