I can't believe I just got dumped via text! What kind of man does that? Not a real man, that's for sure. I have to vent my disgust right now. Thank you so much for coming in my room and listening to me. You're such a kind step-brother. I'm still in shock that my boyfriend, or uh, ex-boyfriend broke up with me by sending a text. What a coward. You would never do that to a girl, would you? Of course not, you are a man with manners. You are the kind of guy that I should be dating, not these immature losers. As a matter of fact, are you dating anyone? You aren't? Well, I'm newly available. You're the kind of guy who treats a girl exactly as she should be treated. Any girl would be proud to call you, her boyfriend, even a girl like me. Would it be completely crazy for me to imagine us together on a more intimate level? Even if it's just to console me through this break-up I could give you something in return.